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If you are ever stalked / followed / threatened by a vampire, it might be best to remember a few sure statements that will get them running for their immortal lives. 

01. I am a personal friend of a certain blonde haired, blue eyed vampire with an obsession for a beautiful dark haired plantation owner in New Orleans ....
02. Stakes have come back into fashion ....
03. My name ....? Its Buffy, you know, the slayer .....
04. My blood was mutated into tomato ketchup.
05. Its really not sanitary to feed off a dirty neck. Mine's been dirty for months .....
06. I have AVBD. (Anti-Vampiric Blood Disorder)
07. I bite back.
08. If you kill me, I'll come back and haunt the sh*t out of you!
09. I have a tendancy to let out an ear piercing scream when I'm attacked by vampires ....
10. I have a lighter in my purse! Stay away, else I'll be forced to use it!!!! 

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