*grin, just thought of something funny to share with you all*
(Sunday evening. All vamps are gathered around a solitary toilet)
MARIUS: Lestat, what took you so long ....?
LESTAT: Mortals read papers on the loo, Marius. I was only ten minutes, some mortals take longer!
LOUIS: I was only five minutes, minus grunting time!
ARMAND: Well done, Louis!
LESTAT: I don't think Armand squeezed hard enough. He looked like he was clenching his teeth and knawing on a piece of chewing gum.
ARMAND: At least I didn't go bright red and look like I was about to implode!
MARIUS: You did well, little loo students. Knowledge like this is accumulated over hundreds of years. Hundreds of years learning to squeeze, grunt and clench. Now, who of you will try and flush the chain?
ARMAND: Sorry, it was before my time. We were using buckets back then.
LOUIS: Don't look at me, I used a hole in the ground!
LESTAT: Okay, okay. Let me have a go.
*Walks to toilet and looks at it thoughtfully*
LESTAT: What if I kick it?
MARIUS: No, no! Use the handle.
*Louis pulls the door handle*
ARMAND: Wrong handle. I think he means the one sticking out from the loo, Louis.
*Lestat pulls loo handle off*
LESTAT: Oops. They are weaker than they look.
LOUIS: Lestat's pulled the handle off!
ARMAND: What now, loo teacher?
MARIUS: Get a bucket of water!
*Louis, helpfully goes to get a bucket of water*
ARMAND: Told you! Lose the sophisticated loo, and we're back to bucket age!
MARIUS: We use it to flush the poo away!
LESTAT: Is this really necessary? I mean, none of us have relieved ourselves in there.
MARIUS: All part of the lesson, my toilet deprived students.
*Louis returns with bucket and proceeds to sit upon it. Then he proceeds to grunt and clench*
LESTAT: This is very entertaining ....
MARIUS: Um, Louis. Can I have that bucket please?
*Louis looks confused, but hands bucket to Marius. Marius throws content into bowl*
MARIUS: Lesson has ended. The poo has been flushed on to greener pastures.
LESTAT: Its always greener on the other side ....
LOUIS: Marius, where does the poo go to?
LESTAT: Yes, Marius? Where does it go?
ARMAND: I think it get's flushed into a bucket.
MARIUS: It get's flushed into the sewer system running beneath us.
LESTAT: Sounds very complicated. Why was the bucket thrown out?
ARMAND: Logic died out in a previous century.
LOUIS: I would like to see this 'system'.
MARIUS: Um, maybe not. It smells down there.
LOUIS: What of?
MARIUS: Of poo.
LESTAT: Come on, let's go and see this system!
ARMAND: Yes! Let's explore where the poo goes!
MARIUS: Are you sure about this, my pupils? You may not smell as sweet when you return ....
*Not another word is spoken. Lestat, Armand and Louis disappear from Marius to investigate the wonders of the sewerage system!*
The end .....