Title: Fading Memories of Sunlit Beaches
Disclaimers: The characters from the Chronicles belong to Anne Rice.
These stories are purely for pleasure and 'What if's'.
Nothing is meant to infringe upon the author's rights.
I am doing this for fun and I love sharing my stories with others.
How do you ensure a loved one's survival when they are intent on suicide? When the dark and dismal thoughts of a once treasured past in mortal life overwhelm and try to destroy with their habitual spite and fury? I felt so helpless.
Louis had been despairing for weeks, tears streaking his face every evening. I had never seen him so lost, so in need of comfort. Yet, could I truly comfort him if his thoughts were this horrific? Could I give him comfort when I also felt despair clawing at my soul. Until one night, everything seemed to be spiralling towards a cruel fate.
One word fitted him perfectly that cruel evening. It was true to say I would never forget the events which led to Louis' soul revealing to me. That night had been so long, so vital and so sad that even my heart felt like it would explode with misery.
Melancholy. That was the word. It suited him perfectly.
"What's wrong?" I asked finally, having had enough of being shut out from him. He was a master at keeping me safely at a distance.
Louis sighed and breathed in a deep and troubled breath. "Blue skies, Lestat. Blue skies".
"What about them?" I asked, although the despair was evident in my own voice. I didn't really want to know. I knew it would only cause me upset.
"Now I only see black skies" Louis sniffed, his gaze falling on the window and he stared wistfully at the sky outside.
"Is that such a terrible thing" I said softly "After all, you are immortal".
Louis shrugged and turned away. His emerald gaze was marred by the blood tears in his eyes. He was lost to me, and all I could do was listen to him and try to understand.
"Anything else?" I asked after a while.
"Golden sands" Louis wistfully replied "When the sun is hitting the beach, the way the sand reflects the sun. Purest golden colour I have ever seen".
"We can go to the beach together" I said quickly "Tomorrow, if you wish".
Louis shook his head "It wouldn't be the same, Lestat. Not the same".
He fell silent again, driving me crazy. Finally, my reserved temper flared into action. "What!" I stormed over to him and shook him by the shoulders. He glared at me in obvious anger. "What is it!!??? Why are you being like this?"
Louis shook his head "Becuase I miss the sparkling sunshine. Because everything I ever loved during the day has foresaken me forever".
I sighed. I dropped to my knees before him in sorrow. I put my head helplessly on his knees. I wound my arms around his legs. "You know that can never again be the case, Louis. Why miss something that will never again happen? Come out with me, let us feed together. Let us forget this melancholy train of thought".
Louis lay his head on my shoulder, his body bent towards me at a rather bizarre angle. He kissed me tenderly on the forehead and then rose to leave the room. "It is time for me to feed ..." Eagerly I rose to my feet in order to follow him "....alone" he finished.
He left immediately, his feet making soft pattering noises as he left the house and walked briskly down the road. I sat heavily in my favourite leather chair and pondered his words with despair. I knew this sign only too well. When vampires began to brood on their mortal past, they would eventually give up their lives and throw themselves into the sun.
I had to change his mind about the things he so missed from mortal life. I just had to. Or, I could see him losing himself to his despair and going into the sun.
I shuddered. It was painful to even consider Louis might do something like that. However, I knew him. I knew his misery. I feared for him immensely. It didn't seem strange to imagine he would take such an extreme action.
I pined for him for an hour, and then left the cosy chair to pace the room. He still hadn't returned and whilst I knew Louis was slow when feeding, he nevertheless took less than half hour to complete a kill and discard the remains.
I was just contemplating searching for him when the front door opened, and I heard the familiar pattering of immortal feet heading into the front room. I sat back down in the leather chair, ashamed I had been pacing uncontrollably, and waited for Louis to reach me.
He wandered into the room, tears streaking his face. Immediately I rose and took him into my arms.
"Hush, what's all this?" I asked him kindly.
"Goodbye Lestat" Louis sobbed. "I finally have the courage to end all of this. Let me go now".
Smiling gently, I took his hand and sat him down. I lapped at the blood tears until his face was brilliant white once more and held him close. "If that were the case, you would never have said goodbye. You know I can't let you go now".
Louis struggled weakly to free himself from my embrace, but in vain. He relaxed suddenly, realising that I meant what I had said and sighed against my chest.
My mind was planning and scheming, desperately trying to think of a plan to draw Louis from his sad thoughts. Finally, the plan was formed and I tried not to smile when I thought about it. If this could not lighten Louis' mood, then nothing could.
I kissed his forehead, much in the manner of which he had done himself earlier in the evening to me. Then I rose with him in my arms and took flight with him, crashing through the front room's windows in the process. He barely had chance to gasp my name as we flew steadily and speedily into the night. Finally, he loosened and fell limp within my arms. His eyes were closed and his breathing steady and light. I drifted mentally, letting myself plot the distance and finally we arrived at my destination.
Louis eyes fluttered and he inhaled the sweet, fresh ocean air as he struggled to regain consciousness. I flopped beside him, drawing him into my arms and waited for his emerald eyes to open.
Waves crashed on the beach cruelly. If there was ever something more awe inspiring than my Savage Garden, it were the Savage Seas, crashing eternally on the beaches with ferocious strength.
"Lestat ...." Louis was touching my face with a finger.
"I'm sorry, Louis. My mind wandered" I kissed his finger reverently.
"Why are we here?" Louis asked softly.
"You missed the beach" I shrugged. "We are at the beach".
Louis sighed. "Black waters, Black skies, Moonlight hidden behind a cloud. That's not exactly the picture I painted earlier".
I laughed. "I know. We should be grateful with what we have. Your average mortal lives a hazardous life. He grows up in fear of death from moment of birth to moment of death. He lives in a continual state of denial, unable to face the reality that one day he will die and join endless millions beneath the earth. We don't have that worry, that uncertainty".
Louis nodded, his eyes wide with wonder as he watched me eagerly.
"I love you Louis" I confessed. "Love you enough to protect you from yourself. This melancholy feeling will not last forever. I will protect you from yourself if that's what is needed to keep you immortal and safe".
Louis nodded. Accepting this. After all, what else could he do? He knew my vast powers would keep him in my arms for eternity without the possibility of him breaking free. He was at my mercy and I found it intoxicating to have him so close, feel him so near. I felt his breath on my arm. I felt his heart beating beneath his black clothing. Beautiful.
I felt him dozing lightly. The soft lapping of the smaller waves and the harsh breaking of the larger ones were making him feel sleepy and relaxed.
Lifting the sleeping fledgling into my arms, I wandered into a small and tight cave to spend the day with Louis wrapped forever in my arms.