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TITLE: Endless Hum of Life

AUTHOR: Hannurdock

RATING: PG

WARNINGS: Angst/ Bittersweet / Memories

STORY TYPE: Third Person

CATEGORY: Drama, Memories

LENGTH: One-Off

DISCLAIMER: The characters are property of Cannell and company.



He tries his hardest to let it go, all of it. However, it threatens to consume him. The bitter loss of his sanity, and of the life he had before 'Nam.


He tries to forget, to close his eyes to the distant screams, the beatings, torture, endless pain. He hears his own heartbeat beating ferociously against his chest.


"Murdock?"


Then the slight humming comes to his ears. Its soft at first, and then threatens to burst his ear drums with its ferocity. He screams, puts his hands over his ears to silence the threatening sound, drawing his legs up to his waist.


Murdock looks around himself vaguely as the noise subsides to a gentle hum "What the hell was that?"


"Murdock?!!"


He sees his life stretched out before him, and as he walks along he sees memories past and present. Good memories, and bad memories. Each of them more startling, more intense. He starts to lose himself in them, starts feeling the hum growing louder, beginning to shake the foundations of his mind apart with the ferocity.


He opens his eyes with a start, and realises he has been dreaming. He sees Face kneeling beside him.


"You passed out Murdock. Are you okay?" Face asks, helping Murdock to his feet.


"Sure am, Muchacho" Murdock mumbles, and looks around himself.


His vision blurred, he hears the rumbling noise getting louder and begins to panic. "Facey, what's that goddammnawful sound?".


"We're at a private airport, Murdock. Its the noises of the planes. Are you sure your okay?" Face asks.


Murdock sighs, the rumbling ceasing as the plane takes off. His vision clears, and he looks around. "How long was I out?".


"Five minutes" Face says worriedly.


"Five minutes" Murdock repeats, scratching his head. "Boy did I have the weirdest dream".


"Come on, we gotta go get the supplies. This is the only place for miles. Are you up to it?" Face asks.


"Sure, buddy. Just lead the way" Murdock says, indicating for Face to walk on.


Face and Murdock reach a storage building on the other side of the runway. Face assumes an authoritive air and walks up to an older man inside the store, saluting him crisply.


"Major Ravenbridge. I have some orders to collect some parts" Face says. The older man reads the order and nods.


"Over there son, you'll find everything you need".


Face grins, another scam worked out well, and proceeds over to the supplies and picks out what the team will need.


Murdock wanders over to the window, hearing the rumbling again. His heart starts to beat furiously, and he breaks out into a sweat.


The older man looks interested towards Murdock "You alright son?"


Murdock turns and forces a smile. "Sure, just thinking ...."


"You're a pilot, right?"


Murdock grins "I was born a pilot!!"


The older man laughs "They all say that son. You have a sad look about you, anything up?"


Murdock sighs "Just forgotton how loud they sound on the ground. They make so much noise"


The older man looks confused for a moment "The planes? I was a pilot in WW2, they sounded much louder back then"


"Were they? They sound loud now, couldn't imagine what they'd be like back then" Murdock smiles.


"They were loud son" The older man turns away "But sometimes, its what's inside us that hurts more"


Murdock looks at the older man. "Say what?"


"Sometimes its not the hum of the planes, the buses, the trains that affects us. Sometimes its the hum of life that gets us down, makes us remember things we don't want to"


Murdock listens attentively. "Yeah, an endless hum of life".


The older man laughs "Its not that bad really. Just gotta kick the old nightmares to the curb, so to speak. Let it go".


Murdock smiles sadly. "What happens if its hard to let go of?"


The older man smiles "We all have our own ways of dealing with nightmares, son. Just a matter of believing in yourself, that you can get rid of them".


Face interrupts "Murdock, I have the supplies, lets go".


As Face and Murdock leave, Murdock smiles. He feels much better becuase of the talk with the older man, feels ready to face things a little more.


"What did you and the old guy talk about in there?" Face asks.


"Nothing Facey" Murdock lies "Lets get back to the endless hum of life".


Face turns and looks at Murdock strangely. "The endless hum of life, Murdock?"


Murdock grins and nods. "Yep, someone very wise once said that. I think its a way to live. To put the old nightmares behind."


Face smiles "Maybe you can teach me that sometime".


"It'd be a pleasure, Facey" Murdock says. "Now lets get back to Hannibal before he calls out a BA search party".


Face laughs "Good idea".


THE END.


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